I have been all Emo to the max this week and "Whoa is me, FML, Blah Blah BLAH" this week, and now as I go back and read through what was bringing me down, I can't help but laugh at myself!
BUT they say that everything happens for a reason. Well, I know what that reason was this time around...I FINALLY learned the lesson. (For me being so smart, sometimes I'm a numb-skull!)
Anyhooses...the lesson:
Yesterday, I stopped to have din @ my friends work while he was on break. I missed him while he was on break, but he was getting off work soon, I so decided to just hang around and wait. I ate my food, and took out my flashcards to prep (MORE!!) for State Boards that I'm taking on Wednesday. I happened to look over at the table across from me and notice two smartly-dressed looking women. I happened to notice that one of them had a craft book I recently purchased and I LOVE it, so I commented to her on it, and after talking for a few minutes about crafting, guess what I found out? Turns out...she's a hairstylist too! In the area that I want to work in! So I picked her brain for a few more minutes and then she excused herself back to her previous convo with her friend. (Sorry about hogging you!)
When my friend was done with his shift, we sat down and talked at length about all the drama that happened with my week, and though he is my biggest cheerleader he does NOT mince words. "OH SWEETIE! You look like shit!" (I literally LOL'ed.) I couldn't even be the least bit upset, because I know I REALLY did. My passion and zest just...fizzled out. I let my doubts and fears get to me and POOF! I haven't felt that sad and defeated in SUCH a long time.
My friend (who's working on a PhD in Behavioral Psych) gave me a few tips and tricks to try and made me look at some HARD TRUTHS in regards to how I handle certain things. I tend to head for the hills and dish to a friend vs. trying to sort things out myself, and rely on myself and my own judgement. I seek approval from others vs giving myself approval. When things are REALLY bad: I PANIC! I engage in "self-destructive behaviors" like: "eating" my problems away, spending money I don't have, shutting down and going into "Hibernate Mode" as I call it, or smoke WAY too many stogies and then have to spend EVEN MORE money for more. IT'S A VICIOUS CYCLE!!! One that I need to BREAK! According to my Dr. Friend...somewhere along the way I was "conditioned" that these actions are acceptable and as such I repeat these nasty patterns.
So...instead of going on a devouring binging on food, going on a mad spending spree, or smoking like a chimney I'm going to try a few new ideas...
1. Art Therapy - I just bought myself some coloring books and a BIG box of crayons. I'm a visual person, colors make me HAPPY. Art therapy is HUGE (and VERY helpful) The repetition of coloring in certain areas, or even drawing lines over and over again is VERY soothing. (Tip: Manilla legal pads are better than STARK WHITE notebooks...) Go ahead and try it!
2. Structure - Creating lists are a great way to accomplish your goals & to get things done. Crossing off items makes you feel accomplished and more powerful too! (You should see my list for today...I kicked it's @$$!!!!)
3. Reward System (AKA "Me Time") - When I have free time I like to read, blog, visit a few websites that I'm fond of, talk with friends, go on FB and Twitter, play video games (WoW mainly) and of course...SHOP! So whenever I accomplish a goal, (big or small) I allow myself ONE thing I like to do, the bigger the goal, the bigger the reward. I ran errands, did some chores, made some calls, researched some potential salon jobs, went grocery shopping, and now? I'm blogging. Then I plan on playing some WoW for an hour (or three), then I'll hop into bed. The key to your "Me Time" is STRUCTURE. Give yourself a half hour of Internet time here, or a few chapters of a new book there, or a few hours of playing video games, but you have to make sure that you don't lose yourself in your "Me Time." Other things will start to suffer if you do-relationships, your health, your laundry pile (LOL!)
Tomorrow is going to be a Love-ly day. (Hubby is home from his trip and it's Valentine's Day to boot!)
Stay Beautious All!
XOXO
Kitty
No comments:
Post a Comment